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Trevor Noah on Jay Leno.

11 Jan

Now here’s a Saffa that’s doing us proud. Trevor Noah is an absolute legend, hysterically funny and probably my favourite South African comedian. He made an appearance on the Jay Leno show recently which is just awesome, watch it here. He just rips the hell out of racism, as usual.

One of my favourite clips is the Black accent one that he does. Cracks me up beyond belief every time, without fail. Do yourself a favour and watch this:

And just one more to boot – I can’t resist.

 

Hilarious. Just love it. Happy weekend desert peeps!

Miss M x

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Santa was a bad boy. And the brattiest kids ever.

6 Jan

Just before Christmas I watched this this hilarious You Tube challenge for an American show – watch it here in case you missed it:

 

The best is they came out with part 2 a couple of days ago which in my opinion is funnier. The kid with the deodorant and then the little one with the potato and his brother just kill me – funny much! Just watch this, it’ll crack you up:

 

I will say one thing at this point – if I reacted like this as a kid, no matter what the gift was, my mother would have bliksem’d my back side so hard – true South African style.

Little brats. Who wouldn’t want taco seasoning!?

Miss M x

Laughter. Food for the soul.

4 Jan

I think it might just be my favourite thing to do. Laugh that is. I am also not one to laugh politely under my breath in a lady like manner. Oh puh-lease now. I personally think that a deserving laugh should come right from the depth of your tummy and be belted out. This is best achieved by laughing with friends. I have 2 friends in particular – The Bestie from China and Scottish Lass – and we all 3 pretty much cackle in the same way. I’d love to get all 3 of us together as the 2 of them have not met each other. There really is just nothing better than making people laugh and laughing with good mates.

Anywho, if you can’t just create your own laughter (shame) I have some suggestions for you which has left me roaring out with laughter lately, both introduced to me by the ever fabulous Scottish Lass. I’m not really one to watch loads of TV but I do like watching good series when I come across them. These 2 are MUST’s.

Enter Miranda Hart from the series Miranda. 

Miranda Hart from "Miranda"

 

Do yourself a favour and just watch this series. She is the most awkward, tallest, clumsiest human being ever, the comedy is rather silly but hysterically funny. Her trot is my absolute best and Scottish Lass and I have even resorted to doing it ourselves and the screaming with laughter after a little trot. I know, we’re a mare.

The next is Karl Pilkington from An Idiot Abroad.

Karl Pilkington from "An Idiot Abroad"

 

I’ve only just started watching this series but already think it’s AMAZE. This man is just SO miserable! Just look at his face! And Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant, the producers, send him off to the most obscure places in the world purposefully trying to piss him off even more by crazy adventures. Some would call this a dream come true to travel the world. Oh, not Karl, he is so unimpressed by it all. He is seriously so sour and his face just shows his utter disgust all the time and this cracks me up the most, especially when he says, “are they having a laugh”. Crisis it’s hilarious.

Happy laughing! You can thank me later.

Miss M x

Top Gear Albania. And the biggest butt you ever did see.

12 Dec

Well of course it was male remote control domination last night in our house and I found myself staring blankly at the TV as if I was looking right through it whilst Jeremy Clarkson and the boys did their weekly Top Gear stint. As I’ve said before I really like the show and find it entertaining, at times. Just yesterday had just been a super manic day and I was in an absolute dwaaal and so was not very focused at all.

It was at this very point on Top Gear that I snapped out of my comatose state and screamed SO loud with laughter the neighbours I am sure would have heard me and at one point I thought I could not breathe anymore. According to the Top Gear gents – when buying a car in Albania a major deciding factor is whether you can fit and hide a dead body in the boot. Just watch this.

I like big butts and I cannot lie, you other brothers can’t deny….!

They must have edited out parts of this. Excuse my utter filth here but I am certain that a ball would’ve popped out at some point!? Must have. Take it away, I’ve seen enough of this butt already.

Funny much.

Miss M x

Virgin Diaries. The 1st kiss. I have no words.

7 Dec

It’s very rarely that I am at a loss for words. This is an instance where I seriously have nothing to say except, do yourself a favour and stop what you are doing RIGHT NOW and watch this.

 

 

I just can’t. It’s like seeing a car accident or something. You don’t want to look but can’t help yourself and keep looking at it.

Cheers to @guy_with_camera for the tweet. This honestly made my day.

Miss  M x

Chicks vs. Guys.

29 Aug

CHICKS DIARY:

Saturday, 13th August 2011

Saw him in the evening and he was acting really strangely. I’d been shopping in the afternoon with the girls and was a bit late meeting him, thought it might be that. The bar was really crowded and loud, so I suggested we go somewhere quieter to talk.  He was still very subdued and distracted so I suggested we went somewhere nice to eat.  All through dinner he just didn’t seem himself – he hardly laughed and didn’t seem to be paying any attention to me or to what I was saying, I just knew that something was wrong.  He dropped me back home and I wondered if he was going to come in. He hesitated but followed.  I asked him what was wrong, but he just half shook his head and turned the television on.  After about ten minutes of silence I said that I was going upstairs to bed, I put my arms around him and told him that I loved him deeply. He just gave a sigh and a sad sort of smile.  He didn’t follow me up immediately but came up later and, to my surprise, we made love – but he still seemed distant and a bit cold. I cried myself to sleep – I think he’s planning to leave me – maybe he’s found someone else.

GUYS DIARY:

Sat 13 Aug 2011 

Springboks lost the rugby. Gutted. Got a pomp though.

And that’s how it is. Hilarious.

Happy Eid holidays peaches. Have a fabulous time!

Miss M x

 

Cocktales. PG 16.

15 Aug

Now before I continue, don’t get on your moral high ground here puh-lease. When you read what I have to say you will be able to relate in some way or another. We have all been in a situation at some time or another in pubs, clubs, festivals etc where some drunken muppet has done something absolutely ridiculous – like vomit, smash a glass or beer tin on their head, piss in a cup etc etc. As men do, when they get really drunk, they lose a bit of their sense of normality. It can sometimes be funny and other times out right devastating. Now, I’m not saying that woman don’t misbehave. Women have been known to do some really pathetic things when under the influence, but, what I will say is that the level of patheticness is usually higher with men. The reason why I think this is that when they’re out in their wolf packs for a night on the town, spurring each other on, sh*t does go down.

You get what I’m saying here.

This weekend in Dubai we saw something so traumatizing and I’m not sure whether I would like to delete the scene from my head forever, but, the devil on my shoulder is saying DON’T!!! Because every time I think about it I chuckle to myself. Well not quite chuckle in a lady like manner, more like burst out with laughter. As I do.

So here’s what happened.  We finished our lovely dinner and vino with our fabulous crew of 6 on Thursday evening and headed to Mai Thai in Dubai for a few cocktails. Or should I say cocktales. Sipping ever so happily on my Singapore Symphany Scottish Lass was standing next to me and says, “is that guy getting his c*ck out!?” So I had look and said to her, “NO, it just can’t be, who does that? Must be a plastic dildo or something and he’s doing it for a laugh because his mates dared him to or something.” But no, it wasn’t so. Horrifired I screamed out in a dramatic Miss M manner – “that guy has his c*ck out!” It wasn’t long before the people standing at the bar next to him had bolted away from the man standing there with his lad hanging out of his jean pant, top button still done, and  just the snake like creature peeping out of the hole.

Well, we were all hysterical to say the least. A mixture between crazy laughter, disgust and shock. But this story is not yet over. He then started to stand loud and proud with a really smug and content look on his face and pee all over the floor!!! He kind of swayed from side to side like a sprinkler watering a garden. At this point The GG leapt for her life towards her Gucci bag on the floor screaming “Gucci does not appreciate pee!!!” and jumped away for fear of getting pee’d on, Gucci handbag firmly held against her. Every single person in Mai Thai was staring at the really sad looking guy standing there with his boy out, peeing all over the place. He was in no wolf pack (poor thing, I felt quite sorry for our Nigel no mates here), totally on his own so you can’t blame any of his mates as none were to be seen. He just must have been so hammered and… well, I can’t even rationalize what might have been going through his head. The head on his shoulders that is.

To top it off a little waiter came over with a square napkin and tried to cover the offender. It was almost like a matador in a bull fight, waving his little square flag over the man’s goods. HILARIOUS. The bouncer tried to remove him but how do you remove a peeing man without getting pee’d on!? He had to stand there and wait for him to finish, and no lies, he went on for about 3 – 4 minutes.

Well, I have never. I have seen some seriously drunken maneuvers in my days but THIS has to fall into at least the top 3. At least.

Get your Cocktale at Mai Thai. Shock. Horror. Gasp.

Miss M x

Gatiep & Meraai, always HILARIOUS!

16 Mar

Gatiep was speaking to his priest…


You know, me and the Big Boss up there, we are tight.

He knows I can’t see at night, so when I get up at night to go to the toilet, the light sommer goes on by itself, and when I leave it sommer goes off again, all on its own.

The priest can hardly believe this story, and later asks Meraai if she knows anything about this ‘miracle’.

Meraai: What miracle?

Priest: No, you see, Gatiep tells me that at night the light sommer goes on, on its own, when he goes to the toilet, and when he leaves it just goes off again.

Meraai: Ag jislaaik, he pissed in the blerrie fridge again!!!

Compliments of my fab Baker Mom. It’s the WEEKKENDDD  BAAAAABBBBYYYY, in the Middle East. And it’s my birthday weekend! Bring it!

Miss M x

 

SEO of the week. Creep.

9 Mar

Can you believe that someone used a search engine to search for

“Head down ass up shes doing it right demotivational poster”

and arrived at my blog – hilarious. I’ll take the credit for that, thank you very much.

I decided to search for this myself and see what images came up (head in gutter), was rather interested in seeing what the creep was looking for. Nothing really came up but a whole lot of demotivational posters and this one had my hysterical:

Brilliant.

Happy weekend people’s!!! Can’t wait for 30 Seconds to Mars tomorrow night! Jared tweeted last night on arrival in Dubai “HELLO DUBAI!!!” and it was an instant top trend worldwide on Twitter. Yes, we’re excited to see you too my darling.

Mrs. Leto x

Domestic pet control, Saffa style!

2 Mar

Only in South Africa

HILARIOUS!!! Just look at the expressions on their faces… waaaa ha ha ha! Hookabrutha never fails. Happy weekend Middle Easters.

That’s all.

Miss M x