I’ll have a 12″. Extra mayo. And a cow please.

3 Jul

I’ve been asked by a few peeps when my next post to my blog will be, why I haven’t been writing etc etc. Totally flattered to say the least that a some friends actually look forward to reading my very random ramblings that are “oh so” profound. Insert – happy dance here! I’ve just been a little preoccupied I guess – my headspace is being slightly rented. BUT. Yesterday I saw something that is just too good not to share. Do not judge. Do not say I am mean. This is my blog and I shall say as I please. Thank you kindly.


Busy day at work, I popped out of the office at lunch time to Subway. They do a good tuna salad and I quite like it because I’m so fussy on what goes into my salads, so it’s ideal cos I can pick and choose, NO TOM’s people, eeeeeuuuw. They also do a good turkey sarmie. There was an Aunty in front of my in the que. I kept looking at her and was thinking to myself – I never want to be like that when I’m older (cos I’m still very very young now). Hair scraped back and dirty, awful taste in shoes, cracked heels and manky toe nails, no make up – just terrible taste. Full stop. Now don’t go judging me for saying these things, you would’ve thought the same thing! She reminded me of the scrunchie lady that I had encountered in the supermarket once! Remember that Aunty! Here to recap – http://wp.me/p1gnxW-1C. She’s still my fav, the old Scrunchie Aunty. They must be friends. Must be.

She then ordered. A 12” sandwich. Who does that? Ladies shouldn’t order 12”. Surely not!? Fatty. She even asked for more sauce cos the sarmie smothered in mayo was not enough. Oh Em Gee. I thought maybe she’s taking it back to her office to share with a friend? No, no.  It gets worse peaches. She then asked for a Diet Coke. Now listen up here Aunty, Diet Coke is only effective as part of a controlled diet. Not an “I’ll have a 12” white roll with extra extra mayo diet and as many toppings as possible” and then shovel it down my gullet in about 5 mins flat, mayo leaking out the side of your mouth. I was horrified to say the least. I told the Accomplice the story and the 1st thing he asked was “Was she married!?” I think he knows me too well by now. Well of course not! And of course I checked. That’s just me. Who would want to sit across the table and watch this Aunty demolishing her Subway sarm.

I do love my people watching. The things you see are just too good. Usually I don’t tell people what I think when I people watch, but this had to be said. To top it off she left Subway and walked straight into Costa next door. For what!? Dessert!? Yusses Aunty – go home already. By this stage I had had enough of my people watching for the day – this Aunty was a pearler – and jumped in my car back to the office.

Miss M and people watching 1. Subway Aunty 0.

Miss M x

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2 Responses to “I’ll have a 12″. Extra mayo. And a cow please.”

  1. Delme L. J July 3, 2011 at 1:02 pm #

    Mel you are soo hilarious,, was wondering when you’d post something again.. have a good day!! x

    • Miss M July 3, 2011 at 1:09 pm #

      Thanks darl, glad you had a little giggle. Hope you have a great day too! xxx

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